His Only One
by SammyGirl13
Summary: Jess goes to see a psychiatrist who recommends he talk to Rory. Lit, duh.


His Only One

Chapter One – Admitting the Truth To Himself

**A/N: I know, I've had fics before and never finished them. But I have actually planned this one out. It should be good. So, please, read and review!**

**Disclaimer:** If I actually owned Gilmore Girls, why do you think I would be sitting here writing a fictional story about it? In other words, no, I'm in no way affiliated.

It was a spring day in Philadelphia, as I walked up the cold stone stairs outside of a psychiatrist's office. Dr. Elizabeth Warren was her name. I felt strange. I needed to get my feelings out. I needed to talk to someone who wasn't Chris or Matthew; they'd just make fun of me. I needed to talk to someone I wasn't close to.

I opened the wooden door. As I wandered inside the psychiatrist's office, I saw people sitting in the waiting room, some reading old magazines, some listening to head phones, some just sitting in perfect silence. I walked over to the front desk, where a friendly looking woman whose name tag read "Judy" was working. She was typing something very fast on the computer.

"Hey," I said.

She looked up at me and smiled, displaying a set of extraordinarily white teeth. She had heavy blue eye shadow and ruby red lipstick.

"Hey honey," Judy said. "What can I do for ya?"

"My name is Jess – Jess Mariano – and I'm here to see Dr. Warren."

She typed in my name onto the computer, and she nodded. "Jess Mariano, 2:00, Dr. Warren. Okay, take a seat, Dr. Warren will be with you in a few minutes."

"Thank you," I said. I looked at my watch, and saw that I still had ten minutes to kill. I pulled my book out my back pocket, _Angels and Demons_, sat down next to a freakish looking kid listening to headphones, and began reading. I wasn't even paying attention to my book. I was to anxious about going to talk to this doctor. As the clock ticked by, I found myself wondering why I was even there.

Just then, a woman dressed in a skirt and sweater came out behind a large oak door. She had a clipboard in hand, and read off a name. My name.

"Jess Mariano," she said. I got up out of my chair, stuck my book back in my pocket and walked over to the woman. She smiled at me and we shook hands.

"I'm Dr. Warren. Please follow me." She closed the oak door behind us and we headed down a long hallway, filled with closed doors and open windows. The last door on the right was her office, and she led me inside. She again closed the door.

The room was homey. It had soft yellow paint on the walls. All the furniture in the room matched, except for an abnormally large red couch in the corner of the room. Plaques, awards, and diplomas hung on the walls. A wooden desk was in another corner, with a computer on it. There were cabinets and drawers all along the walls. And finally, there was a chair right next to the red couch, which is where Dr. Warren sat.

"Please, lay down Jess," Dr. Warren said. She gestured to the big red couch in the corner. I nodded and lay down. She took a notepad and a pen out of one of the drawers, and she sat down in the chair next to me. We spent a few minutes getting to know each other. We discussed hobbies, careers, books, music. She must have decided that it was time to move on, because she said:

"Okay Jess, tell me why you're here." I sighed. I knew that this question was coming, though I had no idea how to answer it. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I said. "I just – I needed to talk with somebody, somebody I wasn't close to."

"About what?" Dr. Warren was already taking notes.

"I honestly don't know. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine, but … I've had this feeling before. It seems to happen whenever she leaves, or I leave."

"Who's she?" Dr. Warren asked. Again, I sighed. I knew that somehow this conversation would lead back to Rory, all my thoughts usually did.

"Rory Gilmore," I said. "My ex-girlfriend."

"Do you still like her?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes, but not by choice! If I had a choice I would forget about her completely, but I can't. I love her. I always have, I think I always will. It's just something that comes naturally to me, I can't control it! I know I don't deserve to, I hurt her so badly."

She nodded, as if she understood.

"I'm not going to pry into your relationship, but have you seen her since your break up?"

"Yes, about four times," I replied. "The first time, I told her that I loved her. She didn't reply. She was so mad at me."

Dr. Warren jotted down notes.

"The second time, I begged her to come away with me. I confessed everything to her. I told her that we were supposed to be together. She told me that she didn't want to be with me. I should have just let it go, but I didn't. As soon as I left, I moved out of my apartment in New York and moved to Philadelphia, where I started working on my novel, The Subsect."

Dr. Warren looked at me. "_You_ wrote that? Wow, I've read it, that's a really good book."

"Thank-you," I mumbled. "Anyway, the third time I saw her was when I came and told her that I'd written a book. I told her that I couldn't have done it without her. You know, she used to love school and reading and studying. But when I went to see her, she told me that she'd dropped out of Yale. After going out to dinner and having her rich blond boyfriend tag along, I couldn't take it anymore. I semi-yelled at her, and told her to go back to being her old, normal self. I think she got the message, because just recently she came to see me." I got quiet. "Her boyfriend cheated on her. She kissed me. She used me to cheat on him. God, I didn't deserve that! I don't deserve that!" I stood up, so I was towering Dr. Warren.

"I don't deserve that, but I still love her!"

"Sit down, please," Dr. Warren said calmly. I realized that I was exaggerating a bit. My eyes were burning. I realized that I was crying.

"Are you okay, hon?" Dr. Warren asked.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Honey, I think you know what's wrong with you. It's not a psychological condition. Hon, you're still in love with this girl. I think what you both need is some closure. Go visit her, talk to her. It sounds like you two haven't had a serious talk since your breakup, about what went wrong. I'm not telling you to get back together, but talk to her." I nodded once more, I knew that she was right.

"You're right, you're right. Thank-you, Dr. Warren."

"Anytime, sweetie. Now go talk to her. Goodbye."

"Bye."

I left the office, went down the hallway and out the door, and finally escaped the entire building. I got into my car, and drove off, back to Truncheon. As I drove, I thought about what I had told Dr. Warren. I hadn't told anyone else anything that I'd told her. I don't think I'd even admitted it to myself. As I entered Truncheon Books, I thought about tomorrow, and how I'd have to drive to New Haven to face the love that I'd lost.

**A/N – Well, what do you think? More to come, I promise. Review, please ******


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